D-Day
We already had some idea of what the Psychologist was going to say.
We felt certain that she would tell us that Ashton had ADHD. We were
both in denial about the Asperger Syndrome. Steve had really been
bothered by all of the websites that he had seen comparing Asperger
Syndrome to Autistic children. Steve couldn't and still doesn't see the
connection between normal autistic children and "high-functioning
autistic" (or Asperger Syndrome) children.
Just a few days before the appointment with the Psychologist, Steve
found a website that included some very cruel things about people with
Asperger Syndrome. The individual who designed the site had a very low
opinion of people who "hide behind their labels." We talked
about how much we did not want people to label our son as "That
Autistic Boy." Wendy heard Shawn Hannity of FoxNews' Hannity and
Colmes express his opinion on ADHD and was prompted to respond to him
via email. He apparently does not believe that ADHD exists. Wendy fumed
the entire time she typed her response, and explained how we too thought
that ADHD was becoming the excuse disease of the century before we had
children (and discovered that one of ours was ADHD). |
The
Poole family at Sea World |
|
Mickey
Mouse, Zachary and Ashton (they waited all day to see him and there he
was) |
When Ashton was diagnosed as
moderate ADHD and mild Asperger Syndrome, we experienced what we can
only describe as "mourning." We felt that our normal son had
died and we were left with an abnormal one. When we found ourselves
discussing other children as "normal" we would get extremely
depressed. There were several days where we found it difficult to do
anything routine (which is very important to someone with Asperger
Syndrome). Steve could hardly function at work. Wendy could not
concentrate at home to do the laundry or clean the house or do
homeschool.
The day we got the diagnosis was one of our lowest points. Steve
tried to call Jim
Goldsmith, a minister friend (and our Sunday School teacher), so he
could talk. After calling his work, home and cell phone (and leaving
messages) he gave up and went in to sit down on the sofa--and stayed
there for a good hour just staring into space. Finally the phone rang
and it was Jim. Steve didn't do much talking, he just listened to Jim
and mourned the loss. |
| We both found ourselves to be
more irritable with the boys. We got angry at each other. Wendy would
spend hours online searching for information. Steve would spend hours
just staring at the television. We had to snap out of this.
Even though we knew we needed to ask people to pray for us, neither
of us wanted to share what we were experiencing with our church family.
We have had some very bad experiences at churches in the past when we
have shared a prayer need with church members. The word would get around
to everyone and people would begin looking at us in "that" way
and start whispering to each other.
The ministerial staff at the church knew what was going on, some of
the Praise Team members knew (several have children with ADHD), but we
were hesitant to share anything with our Sunday School class. Jim never
suggested we do or pushed us to, but on the day we finally decided to
share the news with the class he began to cry as he announced that Steve
had a prayer request to share. And the class was more than receptive to
our news and needs. |
Ashton
loves slides of any kind (including waterslides) |
